The Orthodox rabbinate forbids a legal wedding to Olga and Nico. On Israel’s Valentine’s Day, Tu B’Av, August 4 at 7:00 PM Israel time, Nico Tarosyan will marry Olga Samosvatov. The festive public ceremony in Tel Aviv’s Dizengoff Square will promote awareness of the human cost of the Orthodox monopoly on Jewish marriage in Israel.
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The wedding will be sponsored and funded by NIF and its grantees Havaya – Israeli Wedding and Fishka Club (a social club for Russian speaking new immigrants). Although the Reform and Conservative movements have been offering non-legal wedding ceremonies in Israel for years, Havaya offers traditional Jewish weddings individually tailored for each couple. As the Havaya ceremony will not be legally binding, the couple will need to travel abroad for a civil ceremony in order to be recognized as husband and wife in Israel.
Tu B’Av is a traditional Jewish celebration from biblical times when single men and women would meet during the grape harvest.
The Bride and Groom:
Olga Samosvatov, 29, immigrated to Israel from Ukraine in 1995 with her Jewish mother. A secretary in a Tel Aviv law firm, she is able to prove that she is Jewish and is thus eligible for a Jewish marriage according to the Orthodox rabbinate.
Nico Tarosyan, 34, immigrated to Israel in 1995 from Moscow, Russia alone. He served in the Israeli army and currently works as a computer technician. Although both his parents are Jewish, he is unable prove his status and is therefore not permitted to marry in the Orthodox ceremony, which is the only Jewish marriage legally sanctioned in Israel.
Tarosyan said, “My parents did not tell me I was Jewish until I was 12 when neighbors kept painting anti-Semitic graffiti on the door of our home. At one time I was scared to go out onto the street because they were beating up Jews. I immigrated to Israel as soon as I finished college and I feel very much at home here and very safe. But this need to prove I am Jewish to the rabbis is humiliating.”
Samsovatov expressed similar sentiments. She said, “I never felt any discrimination in Dnepropetrovsk where I grew up, but ironically the Orthodox rabbinate is making me feel discriminated against.”
She added, “It is important for us to get married here in Israel under the chupah in a meaningful Jewish ceremony together with our family and friends. A friend of mine told me about the Havaya ceremony and how touching it was for them. I am getting very excited about the wedding and I hope it will serve to change the law in Israel so that people can have whatever type of Jewish wedding they want.”
Tarosyan said, “We plan flying to Prague in the fall. As immigrants we will have to use all our savings for that trip, which to us is unnecessary, because as far as we are concerned the ceremony on Tu B’Av will be our real wedding.”
He observed, “In Russia we were hated because we were Jews and here in Israel we are discriminated against as Russians.”
The Orthodox Monopoly on Marriage:
Tarosyan is one of more than 300,000 Israelis, most of them immigrants from the former Soviet Union, who are prohibited from marrying in Israel.
Like Tarosyan, many Russian-speaking newcomers cannot prove they are Jewish to the standards of the Orthodox rabbinate, or are half-Jewish on their fathers’ side and therefore not Jewish by Orthodox law, which recognizes only matrilineal descent.
Although couples like Olga and Nico cannot legally marry in Israel, the State will recognize the marriage if performed abroad. Israeli Muslims and Christians are also held hostage to a system that accords the power to marry only to religious authorities. The New Israel Fund family has worked tirelessly for civil marriage, religious freedom and pluralistic options on personal status issues since our inception in 1979.
An Insulting Remedy:
A bill which recently passed its first reading in the Knesset purports to solve the civil marriage issue, but actually narrowly targets immigrants without legal Jewish status. “The Partnership Covenant for those Without a Religion” adds insult to injury in the opinion of the NIF family.
Most of the 300,000 Israelis defined as “not having a religion” lead an Israeli Jewish life. They speak Hebrew, celebrate the holidays, learn in Israeli schools and serve in the army. They see themselves as Jewish and so do most Israelis. Only 4% of Israelis defined as not having a religion marry a partner similarly defined as not having religion. Even under the new law, Samsovatov would be unable to marry Tarosyan because she is Jewish and he is defined as having no religion. “We need a different law that will allow every Israel to marry any other Israeli they choose,” asserts Havaya Chairman Ofer Kornfeld.
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